Words of Wisdom

No one is listening until you make a mistake.

Always remember you're unique -- just like everyone else.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

The things that come to those who wait are what's left behind by those who got there first.

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Some days you are the bug, some days you are the windshield.

If at first you don't succeed, sky diving is not for you.

Never ask a barber if he thinks you need a haircut.

Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

I didn't say it was your fault. I said I was going to blame you.

There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.

Diplomacy is the art of saying "good doggie" while looking for a bigger stick.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away, and you have their shoes.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

Always try to make other people happy, even if you have to leave them alone to do it.

The older you get, the better you get (unless you're a banana)

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