If Biblical Headlines Were Written By Today's Biased Liberal Media

On Red Sea Crossing:
WETLANDS TRAMPLED IN LABOR STRIKE
Pursuing Environmentalists Killed

On David and Goliath:
HATE CRIME KILLS BELOVED CHAMPION
Psychologist Questions Harmful Influence of Rock

On Elijah on Mt. Carmel
FIRE SENDS RELIGIOUS RIGHT EXTREMIST INTO FRENZY
400 Killed In Outrageous Demonstration of Religious Intolerence

On the Birth of Christ:
HOTELS FULL, ANIMALS LEFT HOMELESS
Animal Rights Activists Enraged by Insensitive Couple

On Feeding the 5,000
PREACHER TAKES CHILD'S LUNCH
Disciples Mystified Over Behavior

On Healing the 10 Lepers:
LOCAL DOCTOR'S PRACTICE RUINED
Unlicensed "Faith Healer" Causes Bankruptcy

On Healing of the Gadarene Demoniac:
MADMAN'S FRIEND CAUSES STAMPEDE
Local Farmer's Investment Lost As Entire Herd of Pigs Drowns

On Raising the Widow's Son From the Dead:
RABBLE-ROUSER DISRUPTS FUNERAL PROCESSION
Mother of Deceased In Tears, Paid Mourners Lose Job